Film Review: Centurion

2.0

0.0 (0)

Watching Centurion should be one of the more memorable moments of your life, for better or worse. If there aren’t nostrils flared, eyebrows arched and arms firmly crossed by the end of this "epic", make sure we’re talking about the same movie.

We didn’t know whether to laugh at how terrible the acting was or cry at the most purposefully misplaced and wannabe-epic lines that have been uttered on-screen by anyone in 2010!

In a nutshell, the plot is set in the Roman conquest of Britain and its barbaric natives: the Picts. This storyline could’ve been delivered in 16 words as was just done but instead you’ll have to sit through an odd 2 hours. The whole first half of the movie presented Dominic West’s character, General Titus Flavius Virilus as the protagonist but apparently it was Michael Fassbender, playing Centurion Quintus Dias, who was tasked by the profusely-bleeding (and therefore justifiably deranged) General with leading 7 men left of the legion to their avoidable and predictable deaths.

The movie does get credit for an original villain concept, or rather villainess? Olga Kurylenko, former Bond girl as Etain, gave the term “Heartless B****” a run for its money. She evoked genuine terror as she stalked the 7 soldiers with excellent tracking skills and an agenda for Roman flesh. It can be said that women didn’t feature a lot in this film but as a last resort, they decided to throw in some last-minute romance and “protagonist” Quintus (Fassbender) joins forces with a Pict witch who protects him from the freaky Etain. This guy (and movie) really attracts all the wrong attention.

WATCH IT FOR

Um, er, um, the stalking tips?

MISS IT FOR

Most of it.

WATCH THE TRAILER

Editor review

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